Life is good, thats what they say!

am i the only one that feels pain? I hate my mother and sister for supporting my alcoholic sister and brother-in-law. I hate acting like it doesn't affect me. I hate trying to remove myself from the situation and I really cannot! I hate that she is an alcoholic. I hate that she did not raise her children. I hate that she cannot pull herself up and out of her pity! What makes one person stronger than another? I There are days, weeks! I would love to lose myself and feel like I don't care. I have become a master of disguise. A master at hiding how I feel, what affects me, my life, my childrens lives. Then I think am I the only one? People ask each other every day, how are you? Do they really want to know? Would it surprise someone if I broke down in tears and revealed the pain and hurt that I truly feel? I know I am not the only person in a dysfunctional family but how do you change it? I feel some days like just ditching it all! If not for my children and the love I feel for them I think I would have lost it! I love them so much I cannot catch my breath at times. I look at them and think there are no words! no words that can describe how beautiful they are, how truly spectacular they make me feel! The love I feel from them, the smile when they see me after work like I have been gone forever! How can one person possibly love another so much? I look to the heavens and thank God for saving me.

My daughter was alittle past 3 years old. I heard her crying, waking up from a nap. I ran up the stairs to comfort her. I held in my arms and told her, "Angelina, it's okay, mommy's here!" She looked at me as though she were awake. Her eyes piercing through me, so much love, so much trust. As the tears rolled down her face, in her semi-sleep, she placed her little arms around my neck and held me so tight tears came to my eyes. She looked me in the eyes and said, " Mommy, I was flying in the sky for so long I thought I would never find you!" "For so long, Mommy, I was looking for you, I'm so glad I found you." I will always remember that day, that feeling that God chose ME, trusted me to be a mommy to one of his angels. Yes, life is good!